5 Strategies for Building Emotional Resilience With a Chronic Condition
What is emotional resilience all about, anyway? You’ve heard it talked about in self-help books and podcasts, but maybe it still doesn’t feel quite relevant to your life. I’m going to change that for you today.
I would argue that emotional resilience is a keystone quality everyone should develop. Especially anyone battling with a chronic relapsing condition like me. With uncertain times ahead, emotional resilience will prepare you for adversity whenever and wherever it strikes.
The question is–what exactly is emotional resilience? What are the strategies for developing this adaptable characteristic? And what does it look like in action? I’ll be getting into all of that and more in this blog post.
What is Emotional Resilience? (& Why it Should Matter to You)
Emotional resilience is the ability to adapt, cope, and recover from life's stresses—whether it's from the everyday challenges of living with a chronic condition or unexpected life setbacks.
For individuals with chronic illnesses, resilience is an invaluable asset. It's not about always being strong, but about how you respond to difficulties and your ability to maintain hope, perspective, and emotional balance even with ongoing hardship.
Those with a higher level of psychological resilience are considered more pliable, adjusting their mindset to suit the environment around them. Picture a tall bamboo rod. At first glance, the bamboo may seem thin and breakable. But unlike a brittle tree branch, bamboo can withstand raging wind and rain storms with ease because it bends and sways to the flow of nature. This is resilience in action.
5 Strategies for Building Emotional Resilience with a Chronic Condition
These five strategies will help you build emotional resilience that lasts a lifetime.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings (Don’t Dismiss Them)
The first step toward emotional resilience is recognizing that it’s okay to feel whatever you're feeling—frustration, anxiety, sadness, anger, or even fear of the unknowns.
We intuitively know that bottling up our emotions instead of expressing them is emotionally exhausting. But there’s even research to suggest that habitually suppressing our emotions has a poor effect on our health, including the potential risk of an earlier death from conditions like cancer.
This just goes to show how important it to fully feel what we’re feeling. Practice allowing yourself to notice and express the emotions that arise in you without judgment. Interestingly enough, the more we give our feelings room to breathe, the quicker we can move through them and let go.
2. Set Clear, Realistic Goals & Pace Yourself
Living with a chronic condition often requires a shift in perspective—adjusting expectations to align with your current capacity. This means breaking down larger goals into smaller, more manageable steps.
It also means building your mindset around the idea that sometimes, Plan A may not end up being achievable. A Plan B is often necessary, and armors you against those potential let-downs. For example, come up with a Plan B for getting home quickly if you’re attending a social event and experience an unexpected energy crash halfway through.
Setting achievable milestones and formulating a Plan B for bigger goals can help you feel accomplished and protected, even on difficult days. And don’t underestimate the momentum you can gain by completing these simple to-dos.
For instance, instead of aiming for a full day of activity, focus on completing one task, like a brief walk or finishing a small project. These incremental wins help create a positive feedback loop, reinforcing resilience by showing you what is possible.
Research shows that setting achievable, clearly defined goals that you’ve set for yourself “improves outcomes across a wide variety of illness states and therapy types” (Health Psychology Open 2018).
In other words, setting a variety of simple goals for your day, your care plan, and your future will propel you toward greater emotional and physical well-being.
Know When to Rest and When to Push
Similarly, building emotional resilience doesn’t mean pushing through your physical and emotional limits at all costs. Instead, resilience comes from balance—understanding when to push forward and when to take a step back.
It’s essential to tune in to your body’s signals. Overexertion can lead to setbacks like post-exertional malaise (PEM) for people like me with conditions such as ME/CFS or long COVID. This makes resting just as important as (if not more than) activity.
By recognizing when you need to rest, you prevent burnout and preserve the emotional stamina needed to manage your condition long-term.
On the other hand, knowing when a gentle push might bring progress can also be empowering. This self-awareness enables you to navigate your limits and find that balance between recovery and achievement.
In the end, successfully managing a chronic illness is all about playing the long game. Resting in the short term may allow you to gain more capacity with your energy envelope. Pushing too hard and causing a crash could set you back physically and emotionally. This may leave you afraid to push yourself next time. Remember: this is a marathon. Not a sprint.
3. Develop a Holistic Routine for Mind-Body-Spirit Care
Caring for your physical health is a no-brainer, but building emotional resilience is just as important when managing a chronic condition. The daily stresses of living with chronic illness can take a toll on the best of us, so it's essential to create a self-care routine that nurtures both body and mind.
Activities like journaling, meditation, or even seeking therapy can help you process emotions and manage the emotional load that comes with your condition.
Here are some ways to develop a holistic self-care routine to strengthen emotional resilience:
Nutrition
Prioritize foods rich in antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties, such as leafy greens and berries. These support physical and mental health, and can even help reduce physical stress, which in turn alleviates emotional strain.
I also find it very helpful to eat a consistent, plain diet. Knowing how different foods generally make me feel can help me gain more control over my daily routine, which is inherently full of uncertainty.
Check out this handy food guide for ME/CFS for more tips.
2. Movement
Gentle exercises like yoga, tai chi, or restorative stretching allow you to move your body without overwhelming it. These movements also promote relaxation and emotional balance, helping you feel more grounded in the face of stress. Even a walk around the block is beneficial.
3. Sleep Hygiene
Chronic illness often disrupts sleep, which can further impact your emotional health. Cultivating healthy sleep habits, like maintaining a consistent bedtime and creating a soothing bedtime routine, can improve both your physical recovery and emotional stamina.
4. Support Systems
Having a support network of people who share similar challenges is a powerful emotional resilience-building measure. Whether it's through online communities or local support groups, knowing you’re not alone on your journey can provide much-needed emotional support. We’re stronger together.
Explore more about crafting a holistic approach to self-care here.
4. Build a Supportive Community
Managing a chronic illness like ME/CFS often feels very isolating. But you don’t have to be alone in this. While it’s tempting to withdraw, leaning into community support is key to building emotional resilience.
Surrounding yourself with family, friends, or online support groups can ease the emotional burden and offer a safety net when life brings hardships. In addition, sharing your story with those who understand can make you feel validated, connected, and truly seen.
In my free guide, Thrive Despite Your Invisible Illness, I offer tips on creating a fulfilling life of resilience and connection, including building a supportive community.
One effective strategy I share is to start a hobby that involves connection with other people. Whether it’s joining a virtual book club, meeting a friend for a walk, or participating in an online support group, these activities can really help reduce loneliness and cultivate a sense of belonging, which is great for your health.
While having people who understand your condition is invaluable, don’t limit yourself: social activities centered around shared interests can also enhance your joy and emotional well-being.
Finding Support Groups
Many communities cater to individuals managing chronic conditions like ME/CFS:
The Mighty: A hub for those with chronic illnesses and mental health struggles. Connect and share experiences through various online groups. Join a group on The Mighty.
#MEAction Support Groups: Specifically for individuals with ME/CFS, these groups allow you to connect with others facing similar challenges. Explore #MEAction support groups.
You can also find non-illness-specific communities on sites like Meetup.com, which promotes various groups based on hobbies and interests—from arts and crafts to walking groups. Joining these can help ease the emotional strain of chronic illness.
For more strategies on building resilience through community, download your free copy of Thrive Despite Your Invisible Illness here and discover how community can help you thrive.
5. Reframe Negative Thoughts (Try Positive Affect Journaling!)
Chronic invisible illness can lead to negative thought patterns that amplify feelings of despair. Don’t be afraid to challenge these thoughts head-on, and reframe them. For example, instead of thinking, "I’ll never feel better," try, "I’m having a tough day, but tomorrow could be different." This shift helps transform hopelessness into possibility.
A valuable technique for cultivating positive emotions is Positive Affect Journaling. This practice involves regularly documenting experiences that bring you joy or gratitude. Research, particularly through the broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions (B. L. Fredrickson), suggests that resilient individuals effectively utilize positive emotions to rebound from stressful situations.
Studies have shown that experiencing positive emotions contributes to efficient emotion regulation. It leads to accelerated cardiovascular recovery from negative emotional arousal and helps individuals find meaning in adverse circumstances.
This reveals the importance of positive emotions in fostering psychological resilience, much like how resilient materials like bamboo can bend without breaking.
To start your Positive Affect Journaling, set aside a few minutes each day to write down:
Three Good Things: Reflect on three positive experiences or moments from your day, no matter how small.
Gratitude Lists: Note things you’re thankful for to help shift your mindset. Not a fan of writing in a notebook? Try something more colorful by creating a gratitude jar. Write one thing you’re grateful for on a scrap note, and add it to the jar every day. This is a practice I’m just starting myself, and it makes the habit more fun.
Affirmations: Include positive affirmations that reinforce your strengths and resilience.
You don’t have to do all three, but try them all and find which one makes you feel good. By consistently reframing harmful mental narratives, you can build resilience against negativity.
It’s normal to have difficult days; allow yourself to feel those emotions, but actively work to reframe them and embrace the possibility of brighter moments ahead.
Join Our Chronic Illness Community for A More Resilient Life
Building emotional resilience while managing a chronic condition is a journey that requires patience and self-compassion. I’m here to support you, and so is my community of chronic illness survivors, advocates, and healthcare professionals.
By using strategies like radical acceptance of your feelings, setting realistic goals, and deepening social connections, you can strengthen your resilience and find hope. Each small step counts.
Feel free to join our community here at CarolineNiederman.com or on my LinkedIn / Instagram, where we share experiences, free resources, and encouragement to help one another thrive.
For quick momentum in improving your well-being, claim your free resource guide here: Thrive Despite Your Invisible Illness.
And if you’re interested in scheduling a workshop, speaking event, or panel discussion, please reach out to me here. Together, we can build resilience and support one another.
